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  • Introducing the Bejant Observer

    November 9, 2019 by

    Fair and balanced. Welcome to the Bejant Observer. The editorial board proudly presents the University of St Andrews’s newest and boldest satirical magazine. After three years of life, love, and loss on our island of Canada Geese and moral relativism, we have decided to launch a much needed magazine to bring a healthy dose of… Read more


    June 18, 2021 by

    When King Alexander III broke his neck on the sands of Kinghorn just a few miles east of St Andrews in 1286, nearly two hundred years of peaceful relations between Scotland and England were stymied. What followed was a bloody and decades long succession crisis as a wide cast of claimants from across Britain sought… Read more

  • April 14, 2021 by

    Every great society, from the satrapies of Ur and Babylon to the ‘grande empire’ of Napoleon, was made or broken by the strength of its high street shops. Regulations, divined behind closed doors and handed down by cruel diktat, only allow so-called ‘essential shops’ to remain open. But who voted for these occult mechanisms, these… Read more

  • Student Believes This Semester Will Be Better

    December 28, 2020 by

    Last Saturday, our editorial team sat (far away) from fourth-year Classicist and serial optimist Landon Smegg, of Rugby, England. Though this past year has proved challenging for many socialites, who have rued the cancellation of events like Reeling Ball and secret club initiations, some students, like Mr Smegg, remain hopeful. “No, seriously, with the vaccine… Read more

  • Our November Picks

    November 12, 2020 by

    What we are watching We are watching McDonald’s ASMR-ish with John Goodman, a video so powerful that it was scrubbed from the internet on every platform but Vimeo and a single fake Texas McDonald’s Facebook account. One time Golden Globe and Emmy winner, John Goodman, is utterly captivating in his review of the new Quarter… Read more

  • A Letter from the Editor from Beijing

    November 3, 2020 by

    Dear Readers, Thanks to those of you who have written in with concern or with questions regarding the unfortunate decrease in the amount of B.O. content of late. I am now in a position, both physically and psychologically, where I am able to address your queries.  Let me say first off that I am here… Read more

  • Gagging for help

    September 25, 2020 by

    Fresher’s Flu is a well known affliction upon arrival at uni. It is an intrinsic part of the university experience as well as a unifying bond amongst the student body. However, in entering my third year I appear to be dealing with something else entirely, and NO, not what you’re thinking. That’s a cheap shot… Read more

  • Opinion: ‘American’s Shouldn’t Have to Quarantine’

    September 13, 2020 by

    Facts don’t care about your feelings, and the fact is I feel fine. Just a few hours ago I stepped off of a business class flight directly from Philadelphia International Airport to Toronto, then Cuba, a short layover at JFK, before finally traversing Greenland, Iceland, and landing in Edinburgh. Before I got on that flight… Read more

  • Personifying STDs

    September 5, 2020 by

    “What terrible plague hath befallen this place?”             “Ah, sire…The plague called love. I know it well! But, tarry not! A greater foe readies himself as we speak.”   “Pray, do not mock me! Share this knowledge with me, mayhap I bring glory to God and save all of our souls. I make this pledge… Read more

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