Our November Picks

What we are watching

We are watching McDonald’s ASMR-ish with John Goodman, a video so powerful that it was scrubbed from the internet on every platform but Vimeo and a single fake Texas McDonald’s Facebook account. One time Golden Globe and Emmy winner, John Goodman, is utterly captivating in his review of the new Quarter Pounder. A win for franchisees everywhere.

What we are eating

We are eating raw chicken left out to reach room temperature in the hopes of pushing your mind and your G.I. tract to its limits.

If you are searching for enlightenment, yogis and religious leaders are sending you to all the wrong places. Meditating? Fasting? pffft. Please. Try being internally tagged-teamed by both your entry and exit points. Self reflection guaranteed. Imagine if you were in school and the fire alarm went off minutes after being sent into a lock-down, you’re bound to find God one way or another. You could also try Oppa cause that’s where I got mine.

What we are wearing

Unisex leather hair wraps are back!

Boho chic? More like Coachella is cancelled this year and 2012 was the last time the holidays didn’t feel ironic. Probably cultural appropriation so just to be safe keep your 23andMe results in arms reach.

What we are reading

Nutrition labels! Your natural human instinct is to bulk up for the cold months! Never fear, global warming is here! Welcome to the Anthropocene. 

What we are listening to

“Rip Her to Shreds” by Blondie

A classic tune to prepare you for the holiday season with your sweet, loving, supporting family!

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BONUS: a revisited tip on how to kill time

Isolation is lonely. That is why we have been spending the month getting back into auto-erotic asphyxiation. Nothing is like the thrill of death during times of great crisis. Normalise strange holes in belts!

Written by a big fan of astrology with really good grades

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