Thanks to those of you who have written in with concern or with questions regarding the unfortunate decrease in the amount of B.O. content of late. I am now in a position, both physically and psychologically, where I am able to address your queries.
Let me say first off that I am here in Beijing of my own free will and that I am being treated well.
As some of you know, I recently took a trip to the People’s Republic of China to report on recent developments in Sino-Tibetan relations for The Bejant Observer. However, the day after I landed in Beijing two plainclothes police officers appeared at my hotel and informed me that, owing to various unexplained ‘irregularities’, my tourist visa had been revoked. I was transferred to a nearby political re-education centre for safekeeping while (claimed the officers) these administrative issues were being sorted out by the central government.
As you can imagine, initially I chafed against what I perceived to be the heavy-handed buffoonery of a totalitarian police state. But once I learned to stop struggling and start listening — really listening — I realised that almost everything I had been taught previous to my re-education was Western capitalist propaganda. I grew to love the centre — the daily Mandarin lessons, the oaths of loyalty to the Chinese Communist Party, to Dear Leader Xi Jinping, to Mao and Lenin and Marx; I loved singing the national anthem every morning, I loved my teachers, my fellow students, many of them likewise fighting to break free of capitalistic or religious indoctrination. When, four months later, I was released from the centre, I felt like a new man: ten kilos lighter, my body toned from hours of daily Joyous Labouring for a Glorious Socialist Future, my mind agile and free of anti-proletarian thought.
Now, from The Bejant Observer’s new offices in Beijing, I hope to bring you a steady stream of new content which will attempt to crack the mould of Western imperialist propaganda in which you, dear reader, are very likely trapped. You can expect to see a healthy slate of articles detailing the unfortunate colonialist provocations of the United States in the South China Sea, the stunning and entirely unprecedented success of the One Belt, One Road initiative in creating an economically-unified and geopolitically-harmonious Eurasian landmass, and detailed exposes on the myth of ‘Tibetan independence’ — plus much, much more.
I hope you’ll join me on this exciting journey. Once again, I am here of my own free will and am being treated well.
Glory to the Chinese Communist Party! Glory to the Great Leader Xi Jinping! Glory to the People’s Republic of China!
J. Hampton Williamson,