Facts don’t care about your feelings, and the fact is I feel fine.
Just a few hours ago I stepped off of a business class flight directly from Philadelphia International Airport to Toronto, then Cuba, a short layover at JFK, before finally traversing Greenland, Iceland, and landing in Edinburgh. Before I got on that flight I had my father, a renowned geriatrician, give me a comprehensive Covid-19 test. He asked me if I had any symptoms, I said no—and that I could smell, taste, and appraise the most delicate whiskies perfectly. The clear fact is that since I had taken a test of this nature before flying, I would be immune to the virus for the duration of my travels.
Upon arrival in Edinburgh, I met my friend who had just arrived from Vienna. He told me that this pesky virus had postponed his gig at the Belarussian embassy this summer, but that he was nonetheless able to travel on his father’s jet to the Bahamas. He was kind enough to give me and my suitcases a lift back to my new flat, the infamous 1776 Slouth Street. At no point in this journey did I see anyone with Covid. In fact, I don’t think I even know anyone who has had it. Do you? Its a great point, that it’s possible the virus itself could have been totally engineered, or maybe even entirely fake! Over the past few months it’s been made clear to me that I know better than really anyone with authority or schooling.
Regardless of my stated opinions, I attempted to quarantine, but found myself so suffocated indoors that after an hour I felt that I needed to escape. My feeling of being so oppressed by having to unjustly quarantine necessitated that I venture out into the free, fresh air of the outdoors as God intended for all Americans. It was at this point that my beliefs in individuality, personal freedoms, meritocracy, and the falsehood of quarantining were forever validated.
On top of that, what’s the deal with the underwear on the face? I should be able to whistle uninhibited. How will people know if I find them attractive? I mean, at this point covid restrictions are violating my first amendment right, and I do so resent that. But I suppose in this country you don’t value rights or liberties.
This brings me to my main point; that any American—regardless of whether they hold three passports or only two—should in no way have to quarantine if they feel fine after stepping off of their flight. In fact, I urge you to travel. This is the best time to travel as it’s still warm out and classes are online. These poor economies need our dollar. So why not study in a Milanese loft?
I put the question to all of you, who is this foreign government to tell us to stay indoors for fourteen days, to wear a mask, to not gather on the beach in large crowds after dark?
Jeffrey Davis, third year student, patriot, and monetary activist @RepublicansOverseas
JC, WS, and JR